Dear my sweet precious Carter,
Angel baby I miss you. I miss seeing your little body and sweet smile.
We are two months since your death, how quickly time is going. Some days it seems as if we were just heading to the hospital, and then other days it seems as if you have been gone for years already. I sit and think to myself sometimes about what life would have been like right now if you were still in the hospital, coming to see you multiple times a day still. Oh how I wish those were these days, but they are not. And never will be.
I've been thinking a lot lately about this weekend, yesterday was your original birthday you know. It's weird to think that this weekend would have been the weekend I gave birth to you, a healthy 9 month old. I was worried back in the beginning of my pregnancy that you were going to be a large boy, because Jorgensen’s make big babies!
Angel baby I miss you. I miss seeing your little body and sweet smile.
We are two months since your death, how quickly time is going. Some days it seems as if we were just heading to the hospital, and then other days it seems as if you have been gone for years already. I sit and think to myself sometimes about what life would have been like right now if you were still in the hospital, coming to see you multiple times a day still. Oh how I wish those were these days, but they are not. And never will be.
I've been thinking a lot lately about this weekend, yesterday was your original birthday you know. It's weird to think that this weekend would have been the weekend I gave birth to you, a healthy 9 month old. I was worried back in the beginning of my pregnancy that you were going to be a large boy, because Jorgensen’s make big babies!
But those things are all should haves and would haves. They are thoughts, but will never be reality. I still hurt, sometimes more, sometimes less. It's hard and the tears come frequently still, that's ok with me though. I've learned that crying can be the only thing that helps most times. I know you’re in a great place, with amazing people. I know Grandma and Grandpa Maxfield are loving you to death for me and that Grandpa Jex is raising you to be a valiant faithful soldier. That brings me peace. I miss you, and always will.
"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always,
as long as you’re my baby, my baby you'll be!"
Love,
Mommy
Love,
Mommy
3 comments:
Been thinking of you. Colette was part of the RS lesson yesterday and shared some thoughts about Carter. She and Mary Lemons were singing your praises! They were saying how much faith you have, how you've relied so much on the Lord, and how amazing you and Mike are. The room was filled with tears: mourning your loss, sharing feelings of love, and strengthening testimonies.
Thank you for sharing yourself on your blog. Many testimonies are strengthened because of your words.
I missed you and Carter this weekend! I thought of you a lot on Carter's due date. You have so much strength Megan! So much that you can put aside your problems and help other people like me :) I love you my friend! Carter is one lucky boy to have you as a mom.
:( You are so strong and such a great example. I know we haven't seen or talked to each other in awhile but I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you.
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