Monday, October 18, 2010


You know the saying, "a pictures worth a thousand words"???
Well I believe this to be true.
I also believe it can bring a thousand knife stabs to your heart if your not careful.
You can read a story through pictures, feel emotions, re-live memories,
sometimes you feel as if you are in that moment with that picture.

I bring this up because we received our picture CD from Alyce Clegg. The ones of Carter, and his last moments on this earth. I just picked them up from her studio. I have not seen them, part of me never wants to see them. I want to hid them way under my bed....never to be found. Then the other half of me is dieing to see what she did with them, to see how she made them and us look. That was a rough day for everyone involved, I honestly can say I speak for all those who were in that room with us that day that we never want to go re-live that day again.

Along with these pictures comes many emotions.
Joy, sadness, excitement, anxiety, peace, heartbreak, comfort.
I'm sure when I do look at the CD I will go back to that day, but hopefully I can remember all I've learned. How I've grown. How Mike and I have grown and come together.
How our relationship as a couple as well as individuals with our
Savior Jesus Christ has become so close and near to our hearts.

I fear this CD means the end. The end of all that had to do with my baby. I'm sure it's not but, it sort of is, all is settled and done. The headstone is placed(pictures to come soon!), we are 2 months out...this was the last thing we were waiting for, and now we have it. It hurts.
I don't know if I am going to post these special pictures, I'll have to see....
Wish me luck tonight!

till next time, love you all!


Stacie Couch said...

This is not the end of Carter. He will live on in our memories for the rest of time! I am sending all my love to you as you look through those precious pictures. Cherish them! It must be heartbreaking but what a wonderful thing to have to remember your angel baby by :) I sure love you!

Kristy said...

I have seen you grow so much thorugh all this as I have read this wonderful blog. I am greatful that you are willing to share with us. You are such a strength to me. I wish you peace and happiness as you view those pictures. You can make it through what ever is thrown your way! May your strength and faith never waiver!! You are awesome!!