Friday, September 17, 2010

One Month.

Yesterday was a month, a month since our baby took his last breath on this earth. It feels like longer most days. We have learned so much in this past month, and the Lord has truly lead us. It's weird and hurts to think back to that day, in room 109. So much happened that day, and the next week that it's all a blur except a few very clear memories. Talking to Doug at Coltrin Mortuary, Lesli turning off the oxygen, saying goodbye, having to pick out a casket, and laying him to rest when I placed him in that casket and they closed the lid for good. It's been rough and rewarding at the same time. Mike and I never would have grown in the ways we have as a couple and as individuals. It has brought us closer with our Heavenly Father, and with out the gospel in our lives I'm really not sure how we would have gotten out of bed the next morning or the mornings after that. We still feel the peace, and comfort and the good days are starting to out weigh the bad. It's still hard, and probably will be for a long while and that's OK with me. It makes it feel more real that way, because the realness is starting to wear off and some days I feel as if the past month and a half never happened. Then I feel the black hole in my stomach and I remember that it did. I'm so thankful for Carter, we both are. He is such an amazing little boy, and we are so proud that he is ours!!! I'm not sure what the coming months will hold,
I guess we will see, but ready or not they are coming quickly upon us.

Love you angel baby! Miss you always!!!

1 comment:

Stacie Couch said...

Our RS lesson last week was on faith and I thought of you guys the whole time. You are such a great example to me! Love you!