Saturday, July 31, 2010

"The up's and down's"

I was the girl who always told people to stop complaining about what they looked like while being pregnant. When I would hear girls talk about how much weight they had gained while being pregnant I would get upset, and I would promptly tell them to "stop it",
they where "making a baby for crying out loud"!!
they were not just getting fat for no reason, they had a very good reason.

I have since eatin' my words.

I have become that girl. I have become the self conscious type. I have cried, made fun of, hated, and laughed at my continually growing body. and I hate that.

but as much as I hate that about myself, I now have an understanding about what those girls where talking about. I now know why they felt the way they did, and said the things they said.

I have never loved my body, but I've never hated it either. I've been content, even when I should have kicked myself in the butt and got to working out and eating less. I didn't think this step would come when I got pregnant, because after all-in my own eatin' words, "I'm growing a baby! not just getting fat for no reason". I apologize to those people I once told to "stop it".

Life can sometimes get rough, and sometimes get you down. and being pregnant is no exception. I have come to realize out of these thoughts that even though I have fat, believe you me the scale is getting closer and closer to the husband's scale number!
which makes me crazy, but also makes me laugh.
I am dealing with sever pregnancy acne, all over my body. I am dealing with out of control hormones, etc. etc. etc. but you know what; who cares??? I have come to realize that I shouldn't care, this is what I was dealt and I just have to find my way through it. If I don't care, then why should others? they can't. I'm having a baby, and I can't wait for what is a head in our life, bring it on. I'm confident that I can make it through, I honestly can't fail.
I have a great support system, a loving husband,
and a Heavenly Father who's truly won't give me anything I can't handle!!!!

this isn't a self pity moment, believe me!
I'm great. Life is good. I'm healthy, happy and so is my husband and child.
I just wanted these thoughts on here, for my journal...for later on and during other pregnancy's.


Cinderella, the A-Train and Our Little Caboose said...

It is hard, in face I think sometimes it's worse when you are Pregnant because your hormones are so high! Hang in are doing great, you look great and you will feel even better when the little guy comes! I gained over 40 lbs with Noah haha!

Stacie Couch said...

I still think you look my beautiful friend Megan! I have no idea how you feel about being pregnant, but I do understand self-consciousness about your body and that is zero fun! Just know that it will get better, you aren't just fat...there is a reason for being this way....and I LOVE YOU!

Kristy said...

Megan, You are such a strong smart girl!! I'm so glad you are aware that you can make it through anything. This last post you wrote came at the right time. Your thoughts are in the right place! I hope you read back through what you wrote. I know you guys will make it through this and with what ever follows. I know your Heavenly Father knows you and the surprise you are dealing with today. He loves you and so do we. You guys are in our thoughts and prayers. I know i'm a little far a way but i'm willing to help you in any way I can!!
Love ya!!